“In order to become my best, I need to like… get into that mode where I just want to cut someone with my tiara. I have to become Princess Peach.” said my friend and currently #1 ranked Melee player in Montana, “SFS Awe”, real name Adam. I chuckled a little.
“I just… don’t see it that way.” I replied.
In a conversation on a long drive back from Spokane, Washington following our unceremonious defeat at their local Monthly tournament, Black Wolf, Adam and I discussed what it felt like to be playing our best on any given day. Adam explained that when he was playing his best he felt like he and his character of choice — Peach — were one entity. If he wanted to attack upwards, he’d attack upwards and in a synesthetic sort of way, he’d feel Peach’s movements like his own. It made sense, but it didn’t quite jive with me.
“I don’t really see Samus like that. I don’t know if I can take credit for her work.” I said.
“It’s not just her work, though. You’re working too.” Adam replied, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to glance over at me. I shrugged.
“Samus is more like a business partner. I feel like we have a contract, we just sort of get each other.” I paused briefly to consider what I was saying. “I guess it takes two to tango.”
Partnership is, ultimately, the feeling I get from many game characters. It’s rare for me to find a character I feel is me (though this may be at fault of the industry), but I do see merit and enjoy ‘working’ with most of the game characters I end up playing as. But still, I don’t identify as a badass space bounty hunter who had her life taken away from her by an angry space dragon named after the director of one of my favorite films. Samus is a great role model, sure. She’s a voice for women in the games industry. I love her arc, and I think Metroid Prime is one of the best games of all time. While I take part in her story, it doesn’t belong to me. She’s my main in Melee. But she isn’t me.
When people are frustrated about the issue of representation in games, I think it stems largely from this sort of issue. While I have a few characters (from games or otherwise) I do identify with, I can at least acknowledge that I have some. For most people, namely women, identification isn’t this easy.
“I just can’t really get into Samus’s head.” I say. “Even moreso when she’s in her Zero Suit. She’s like a mystery to me. But that’s why I like her. I like working with her. She’s always got an ace up her sleeve.”
“Arm Cannon,” Adam interjected. “Up her Arm Cannon.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Nice catch.”